Thursday, January 24, 2013 ❣

Lim Lynn.

I had no idea you could go to someone's instagram account through the computer. Silly me.

I remember the time when this girl and these clothes use to be my everyday life. I might have lost all the pictures I took in high school. But I will never forget each & every wonderful thing that's happened there :')

So many memory flashback. I remembered when I was 16 and going through form 4. That was the year I met her. She was a newly transferred student. As she entered 4Jati that day, everyone greeted her and welcome her to Section 3. She only smiled back at us. She didn't even put effort in to actually make any friends that day. She was a petite and quiet girl. At first glance, she came across me as a very smart and nerdy girl. I thought she was that type of person that likes to be alone. She had amazingly straight teeth and her features kinda resembles a bunny. Back then I thought to myself, I don't think we can ever more than just acquaintances.

She came in class and sat beside JiaJia. Melissa, Teng and everyone else went to her to introduce themselves. They started talking and joking around with her. But as I stood aside and observed her, she only smiled at most of the jokes she heard. Then I thought to myself, OK EMO FREAK ALERT! Nonetheless  I went over to her seat and started introducing myself. Her name is Lim Lynn. I freaked out as I have never had a friend that has only 2 syllabus in their full name. I wanted to ask her why is her name like that. But I didn't. 

As the days gone by, all of us started feeling very comfortable around her. But it seems like she hasn't yet. We were very welcoming and warm with all our words and greetings. We make silly jokes so she feel awkward. But still, what is going on in her mind? 

Then one day, Melissa told me that there was something very weird in the new student's eyes. There was a black dot at the inner side of her eyes and it was bulging out! I felt so curious so I just had to check it out. After knowing that, everyday I spoke to her, I could only pay attention to that little black piece of flesh on the side of her left eye. Until one day, I finally decided to ask her what is that thing in her eye as I could not bear with not knowing anymore. She told me that she herself has no idea what is it. She said she had went to see the doctor about it and he said it was nothing.

Months has pass and we started getting closer and closer. She also started feeling very comfortable around us. But I spend my time with her very less as I always went for recess with my boyfriend. Around the month of July, there was another new student. His name was Hew Mong Cheng. He wasn't a new person to meet for me, I remember playing badminton with him months back. But just like the first day Lynn entered, everyone started jumping and hopping on to him and started introducing himself. Including Lynn.

As the year of 2010 ended, I was still far from being bestfriends with Lynn. She doesn't go out with us and unlike most of us, she doesn't tell us about her life and problems. But I knew very well that we were all getting very fond of each other. 

During the third day of 2011, all of us went back to school, it was the first day of school and also the year we had to prepare to sit for our SPM. All of us 5Jati peeps went in to class. It was a terrible mess! Everyone was fussing around and choosing where to sit. I picked my place, it was at the corner of the class and it was next to the door. I suddenly felt something strange. I couldn't see Lynn. Apparently she wasn't able to come to school. All of us sat around the corner of the class, but none of us were able to save a seat for Lynn. 

The day she came to school, we had to tell her she's not going to be sitting with us throughout the year. We sat very far apart. But she always walked over to our place. 2012 is the year I started understanding her life more. She started telling us more about herself. But 2012 is also the year I had countless life crisis. I argued with my parents and boyfriend twice a week, I got stabbed by my use-to-be 'goodfriends' in the back real hard etc. As everything happened, she was there to listen to every single detail. She doesn't only want to listen just because she wants me to feel better and to release everything. She actually cares about my life and she remembers everything about my life and family. She remembers everything I've ever said to her. She constantly ask me about them. She never tries to say any thing motivational to me, but to me, everything that came out from her mouth was motivational. Back then, I really couldn't see it. I really couldn't see the big picture she and everyone else painted in front of me. That was because I was too busy with my boyfriend, with my own life that I couldn't pay much attention to the friends that actually cared and loved me. 

Now, I see everything. Back then, I just couldn't mash both my friends and my boyfriend together. Because I know he wouldn't like it. And they just wouldn't get along. So I just had to entertain both parties separately. But still, after everything I've been through and after countless times of being ditched by me, she still remembers and she still cares. 

Now, this is the second year since I've graduated. She is still sticking around. Despite the fact that we're in different universities. She still cares and have strong urges to actually want to know every single detail about my life. She wants to know what happened in school. She wants to know how I met my current boyfriend. I never realized this, but after 3 years, I can finally see that she is a very important person in my life. I am so use to everything now, that after I've done something or after something big happened, I have that strong feeling of calling her and telling her everything. I always thought my one and only bestfriend was Melissa, but unknowingly, I've made another one. The one I could never imagine would be. The one that I could never see. I feel so stupid. She helped me through everything, even my studies. She is a very humble and modest girl. She doesn't like to admit that she is smart, she would just categorized herself as 'average'. But she was a genius. Still is. 

I regret not making the best of our my high school life. 
I regret not spending more time with my high school friends. 

Thank you Lim Lynn for moving to Bandar Kinrara. Thank you for transferring to Section 3. Thank you for walking in my life and thank you taking up such a big space in my heart.

Sunday, January 13, 2013 ❣

Two Oh One Three!

I was so swamped up on my last post I completely forgotten to say Happy 2013! So happy new year guys!

This year, I did not go to any crowded places to countdown to 2013. Well, mainly it was because I'm terribly afraid I'd get robbed by idiots unknowingly or maybe I'll even get some major leg crampage because of the all-night-standing event they've prepared for us. I definitely would not like to spend my last night of 2012 with fatties having their sweaty and sticky armpits just grinding against my (maybe) sweaty body. And plus I'd get insufficient oxygen that night and might die on the spot due to the crowd *coughs* but mainly due to my height as I am not that tall. Taller people just tend to suck up all the oxygen there is. I pity them dwarfs. Figures. And when I sweat, I'd smell like a hippopotamus' number two. Why the hell would I want to dress up so nicely and end up getting soaked in my own sweat?

Okay I'm just kidding. Despite the crowd, I'm actually really jealous of the people that get to see big beautiful fireworks! All I saw was a mini version of a firework performance. And the sounds? Maybe if I clap my hands loud enough, I wouldn't even be able to hear the bok bok sound of the fireworks. So there, 
I'm jealous :(

So this is the miniature shit I saw that night. Oh well. I'm done complaining. 

But hey. I wouldn't say my countdown was that bad. Just the fireworks part. I'm glad I get to spend the last couple hours of 2012 with my cute friends. And food too! What more can I ask for? 

Okay, maybe I could have asked for a bigger view of the fireworks. But no complaints! Haha. 

I don't usually make any new year's resolutions because I know for sure I will never come through with it. So why do I want to waste my time. Save the disappointments, right? But that was when I was young. I am unofficially nineteen now! And for this, I shall make a resolution list for 2013!

Eunice's Resolutions for 2013
1) Start saving money, stop spending!
Ever since I was a little girl, I did not have any sort of saving habits. Not even those excess 20cents or 50cents change. I had dozens of piggie banks that people gift wrapped for me, but never once have I ever used them. When I see money in my purse, I spend. Even now, I am nineteen (emphasizing :P) and IF you manage to successfully sneak your way into my house to rob me, I swear you will not be able to find a single cent. I mean rob me, not my family. Lol. I know it's a bad habit. But that's all going to change! I hope...

Or maybe I'll just get this...

2) Get better grades in my degree.
I have completely given up on my foundation year. I've scored so averagely in the first two trimesters that I know it is highly impossible for me to pull up my cgpa to a 3.0 now. So I'll just stroll through this final trimester and get yet another disappointing 2.8 -__- I will just have to save up all my hard work now so I can pour everything out during my first couple years of degree. Mindset of a proud Malaysian! Okay, just don't flunk this one Eunice!

3) Fats off!
This should be interesting... I've gained so much I swear I dare not stand on the weighing scale. I rather not know my weight right now. It will only kill me psychologically. I need to loose weight! I MUST! Haha. I got so inspired by one of my close friend Jennifer ( I read her blog and do you know what I saw?! I was blinded by her awesomeness! She blogged that she successfully lost 6kgs in 2012! I was astonished! I wanted to slice away all the excess fats on my belly and my ass, literally. Ahh. I hope by the end of 2013, I can proudly say I've lost 10kgs! LOL. 

Jerry brought me to Nadeje @ Malacca the other day and well.. I don't know. It just seems like something worth mentioning. Haha. And the cakes... OH WOW.

I just thought maybe I should look at them a lil more before I officially start my weight loosing plan.

So I can proudly say that Jerry is a big contribution to my fats :) Thank you Jerry!

Oh yeah. And my dad too. For feeding me breakfasts like this. He thinks showing his love to my is feeding me with fatty food. Some dad right.

And my mom too. For always buying sweet cakes, tarts and cookies. And for also making sweet cakes, tarts and cookies.

Okay. Maybe I'm just exaggerating. My parents feed me healthy food. The fat credits mostly goes to Jerry.  

4)Stop biting my nails.
Okay. This, I know is pointless writing. I've been biting my nails ever since I could chew. How awesome am I? I can never have beautiful manicures like most girls. I cannot look all high class with my expensive, sparkly, hard, gel/acrylic nails. I am a sad sad girl. I have been wanting to stop ever since I was thirteen. And I am nineteen (emphasizing again :P) now! But maybe after writing this here, I'll try harder? Who knows?

5) Control my temper.
I hate people that are born annoying! I hate being annoyed by people that are born annoying!  I have no idea why I get irritated so easily. When I get heated up, I can't be cooled down by anyone. And I will start showing that sour bitch face (I know its very ugly and you feel like slapping me). I know I tend to act like a stuck up bitch or queen of the world whenever I am angry. I really do not know how all of you cope with me. I am so sorry. I need to try taking deep breaths every time someone stupid decides to stupidify me.

6) Care and appreciate those who love me. 
My big big family. Somehow, after countless arguments with my parents, siblings and relatives, no matter how hard we fought against each other, whenever I needed help, they were always there for me. They are always there for me whenever I fall. They are always there to pick me up no matter how deep-a-shit I got myself into. They are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure I am okay. I love my family.

Just gotta love them. I mean, how can I not, right?

Besides my family there's also one other person that has been holding me up all this time. He was there for me every single millisecond I broke down, had my mood swung up, down and all around. He was there when I had countless 'mid-life' crisis and every single time I overreacted over nothing. Sounds like fun huh?

Especially all the times I stressed out about my studies.

Thank you Jerr :)

So I guess that's all the major ones on my list this year. Those other minors details like end world hunger or treat people nicer etc. do not have to be stated now, do they? But nonetheless  I think I am going to have a wonderful year ahead of me! Cheers to twenty-thirteen!

Friday, January 11, 2013 ❣


Ahh. It has been so long since I last blogged. I wonder if you still remember how I look like.
If you make it to the end of this post, you get a cookie ;)

I do not have the right word to portray these couple months that I have been through. But maybe I'll start off with today. I do not know whether to call it an astounding or a rotten day. You be the judge. I am presently having such contradictory feelings, I don't even know where shall I begin. I overheard from many that today would be the day of the release of our semester results. And yes, I was terrified. 

Ever since the ending of December 2012, I have been having disastrous dreams. Well, nightmares if you may. And all of them are about my finals exam and my finals results. I did extremely bad on my Math paper. I haven't felt so bad about a paper for so long. I did not know how to cope with it. I came out of that examination hall feeling devastated. After that paper on the 29th of December, till a few hours ago, I have been having the exact indescribable feeling.

Nightmares, over and over again. I just wished everything would stop. All I wanted was to stop thinking about it. I had several nightmares these pass two weeks about how that day went down. And not to mention nightmares about the day I would finally get my results, together with my backfire face when I see a gigantic F across the ending of the row with 'Mathematics II' on it. I had nightmares of the same kind for four days in a row. I couldn't help but think to myself, 'Is the universe trying to tell me something?' 

Ever since I finished my Math paper that day, he has been trying really hard to distract me and my thoughts. But I just couldn't help it. I spend two weeks thinking about all the worst case scenarios. I know right. Idiotic, no? It's a little senseless making a big fuss over just one paper. 

As always, he came to my place. Initially, we had no intention whats so ever to check our results. But the time was here, facebook, twitter, whatsapp, everywhere! Everyone was whining around about the results. Unknowingly, I went to chrome and clicked on to the university's portal. The website was so sluggish, it actually made me felt so frustrated, and a little fiery. 

At last, I got in. I couldn't bear the disappointment as I knew for sure I was going to flunk it. So I told him to check it for me. I had both hands on my face, covering my eyes. Feeling frightfully uneasy. As soon as he saw it, he anxiously caught me by the shoulder. His other hand clamped into my hair. He had that smile on his face. I felt confused yet still frightened. His hands slowly moved to the side of my ears and slowly twisted my head to the other side, facing the screen. I saw it. 

That very moment, my body felt light and airy, as if my feet weren't touching the ground. I relaxed in his arms and I felt so relieved. 

You think I am stupid because I am exaggerating too much and making everything seem so dramatic huh? Well, it is! :P

Hi Jerry. Thank you for everything. Thank you for dealing with my constant need for validation and reassurance. Thank you for always be there and always telling me everything will be alright. I know my life just seems to fall apart on a daily basis and I know I do whine a lot sometimes. But still, thank you for sticking by my side and always standing by me. 

And hey! This my first post in 2013! hoorah?

So, cookie anyone? ;)
Funny you scrolled all the way down here :P Hehehe. Have a great day ahead ❤