Saturday, November 8, 2014 ❣

New to Dayre.


It's been a while since I blogged here. Anyway, i just only (very outdated aunty) downloaded the app Dayre. I'm blogging a little more often there than I use to here! It's so much more convenient. 

I'll be blogging on-the-go at dayre.me/goheunice. So follow me to read my daily shiz!


Toodles!

Saturday, August 23, 2014 ❣

Going short.

How do you feel about this? I don't know.

Friday, July 11, 2014 ❣

Injury.

I spent my past 2 weeks contemplating on whether to write about this or not. And then it struck my mind. It doesn't matter what I write about, because you wouldn't read it. I spent most of my time thinking about you, the times I spend not thinking about you, I still secretly am. All that and the figurative image of me don't even cross your mind for a split second. I cried.

The furuncle that appeared on left foot after my Camp5 visit stayed around for little over 2 weeks. Having no idea what it was then, I treated it with tons of saline water and antiseptic cream thrice a day. Everything got from worse to worst after the second week. It hurt so much I could barely limp my way across the hall, but I had to get to my university. I drive a stick and not an auto, so getting to where I needed to go requires a lot of work from the left part of my body. Shifting gears and stepping on clutches have been my everyday life ever since I got my learners permit. So my only option was to consult a doctor. That night, Dr X prescribed me with some antibiotics, ones that are meant to be taken orally and ones that are to be applied on the affected area. I also got some painkillers to make driving the next day less troublesome.


It was a 5 day antibiotics course, taken twice a day. The wound was healing, I was happy. On the 4th night of my antibiotics intake, I started to get rashes everywhere. Thinking it was only a minor drug allergic reaction, I stopped my antibiotics course and started on some antihistamines my mother had ready for emergencies like this. My younger sister gets weird allergies very often, so my mother carries a box of antihistamines with her at all times. 

As the night got darker, the rash started developing and it intensified. And the scratching can not be stopped, the antihistamines were not working.


I had to rush to the university the next morning for a lab experiment looking like a lobster. Everyone stared. It wasn't a good feeling. My skin only got worse, the itch was unbearable. That very same day, I was rushed and admitted to Sime Darby Medical Centre, Subang Jaya.

I was trapped in the hospital for 4 nights. Waking up to steroid jabs, steroid pills and all sorts of antihistamine pills every morning and also taking even more antihistamines and sleeping pills before bed. All I wanted to do was get out of there. All that aside, only the steroids were working. My rashes were slightly less visible. But they would come right back out as soon as the steroids wear off. The antihistamines on the other hand did not help very much with the itch.


After all the crying, pleading and begging the doctor to grant me permission to be discharged immediately because I was having a test the next day, he finally but reluctantly agreed.

After my test, I came back to SDMC. The doctor told me it was an adverse drug reaction (ADR) and my in my case that is, was the early pre-developed stage of Steven Johnsons Syndrome. I was confused because I had never heard of SJS. He elaborated on and told me that if I were to come to the ER a week later, my life would not have been spared. It is a fatal skin disease.

Saturday, June 14, 2014 ❣

Camouflaged.

Since the last time I was here, everything has changed. One of them which shone the brightest and caught the attention of all; so bright that nobody, not a single living form noticed every other thing that has already been changed and is still changing about me. 

I guess you could say that it was quite a spectacular distraction. You do something outrageous and attention-seeking, in the best way of course, and that's all your left with. Finally, no one notices the demon side of you. More importantly, no one can judge you. And for once, maybe you can do things without having to constantly consider the disagreements of society. You get the chance to tuck away your flaws from the public's eye. The other side of you; your distortion, imperfection, glitches and birthmarks are suddenly gone for a while. If you choose to believe it, that is.

 But despite everything that has changed about me, be it good or bad, I'm very okay with it.


I'll be slowly putting some of my past blog entries back on the blog. I thought that would be better instead of keeping them as drafts, some of them can be fixed.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014 ❣

Friend-of-a-Friend-of-a-Friend.

Friends, how do I define friends?

Well first off, if you've only gotten to know me just recently (these past couple years that is), you most probably would only know a hand full of facts about me. And that is even if we spent every minute of  the day together. But if you have known me since half a decade ago or less, and are still friends with me, you'd seemingly know what I'm about to blabber on in this post. Let's hope it's not as lengthy as all my other emotional posts.
Disclaimer: I honestly am not trying to promote myself or to nourish the fact that I am very significant or anything. And neither am I trying to discriminate any other types of people. It's kinda weird to have to put a disclaimer note here but I just had to. 
After everything that I've experienced and gone through the last 5 years or so, I've come to a point where I start ranking every new person I meet before getting to know more about them. Don't judge a book by it's cover, you say? Well actually, I call it enhancing your analytical ability. I don't see the point of being friends with someone if they're gonna be complete assholes. (pardon the language.) Or being friends with the general 'Friend-of-a-Friend-of-a-Friend'. And neither do I see the point in being close to those who invariably forecast doom and gloom based solely on their bad experiences.

Why would I want to torment myself by clinging on to those that makes me feel dispirited to be alive? And plus, it doesn't really matter how I judge someone in my mind now, does it? As long as I keep it to myself, I think it's perfectly reasonable.


Now before you start going all 'Oh she doesn't need friends' on me, I'll have you know that I do. And I do think that it is important to have some connections. But on the on the other end of the spectrum, neither do I think they are all that.

I agree, building connections are unquestionably important. Particularly with those who are substantial in the future. But how do we know which are the ones that would soon be one of the most resourceful and valuable people out there? Figure it out. Back to my point, yes, creating connections are important. But networking isn't a number game. There's no way to build meaningful connections with dozens, much less hundreds of people. Why develop so many senseless connections when you can only truly connect to a handful?

To cut my 5-year-sob-story short, I have major trust issues. Therefore, I hand pick the bunch of friends I hang out with. Yes, I'm choosy and I have requirements. But no, I don't shout it out to the whole world about how and what I think about you, no. I keep it all to myself. Which is what I meant by this being perfectly reasonable.

Being picky and all is the reason why I don't feel comfortable making new friends in my university. (Don't get me wrong, I have a bunch of great loving friends. But they're just all not in the same uni as me.) Every single life form in my course are competitive and that makes it even harder to find real friends. I made a handful of them and honestly, I sincerely do think that they are enough.

Some people drift like zombies. They wander aimlessly from task to task, from day to day with no plan and no goal. But here, everyone has their very own purpose. And they'd start slaughter if you were to get in their way.

Funny you scrolled all the way down here :P Hehehe. Have a great day ahead ❤