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Busy with this honours degree.


We are almost to the point of the semester where I go completely MIA again. Hooray? Do you know what that means? It means that we are now halfway through the semester, with heap loads of midterm tests, assignment due dates and finally, finals. This rough and bumpy phase of my life usually happens from March to April and August to September. In fact, I looked back at this year's postings, the month of March was completely blank, leaving April with 1 pathetic post.

And do you know what this means again? This means that
I definitely cannot include being able to 'multitask' in my CV.

I haven't been doing many personal posts about myself, so I feel that this one has been overdue for a while. Recently, all you have been reading are either travelogues or product reviews. Sien or not? Thanks for still reading this. I appreciate that. Maybe I should take a chill pill from all these photo posts and try typing whatever that comes to mind. That sounds like something I haven't been doing for a long while. What do you think?

Anyway, I have been better than ever. Being at the closing end of my year 3 has brought to my attention that... we spend way too much of our time in laboratories. No seriously. I used to have a senior that told me this exact same thing before I stepped foot into this field. Reluctant enough, I refused to believe him. I chose to believe that all universities were different, that maybe their program structure were different. But as a matter of fact, you will be spending the last two years of your engineering degree in a lab.

As interesting as it sounds, its not all fun and games.

I wish so much to be able to juggle my studies and working life even the slightest bit on par with everyone else. But I have never tried because I am tremendously afraid of failing. So, I kept it simple. Yes, I did came out of my comfort zone more than a year ago to start tutoring again at a center. But honestly, that was also a scary decision for me. The thought of the disappointment I'd cause to myself and the people around me due to my disproportion of work distribution is just terrifying. I don't want to fail because of work.

Oddly enough, I pulled through. Everything is great and I am still tutoring. I have a great boss that told me that I could just pull out anytime when I felt that I cannot cope with it anymore. But you know what? That's not an option now because I guess, you wouldn't know if you don't try.

So who knows? I may be able to juggle things very well, just that I am too afraid to try. What more can you say about that? Nothing. If you don't do it, it won't happen. All these talks are just words of comfort. As the saying goes, 自己骗自己. It takes a lot of courage to stray out of your comfort zone. 

I guess it is something I'll have to eventually change. I don't think these life challenges ever gets easier, you may not even get used to it. What is life without obstacles or goals? As the saying goes, 'Life without goals is like a race without a finish line' -  I just extracted this from google. I'm telling myself constantly to just enjoy the rest of the time I have here in university. Everything is going to change after this phase of my life and all I'll be doing then is jabbering on and on about how time flies and how much I missed this moment.

(which is exactly what I am doing now; going on about how much I missed year 1 of degree, and back then I was talking about how fast my foundation in science ended and back then I was thinking about how much I missed high school... it just goes on. I hope not to do this kind of torture to myself for the rest of my life.)

As I am typing this, I am at the university's library on a beautiful Friday morning (15/7) hoping to be able to get some work done before my Engineering Materials midterm test later at 6pm. I'm not sure when this post will be going up because I have been scheduling my post so much lately. But I'll see you when it does!

Till next time!
Eunice signing off! xx
Goheunice.

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